Brad Rateike: Exiting gracefully is as important as first impression

Most of us are taught from a young age the importance of making a good first impression. Whether we hear it from a parent on our first day of school or hear it in our heads as we look in the mirror getting ready for the first day of a new job, we are trained to believe that, if we find a way to impress others the first chance we get, generally positive opportunities and outcomes will follow.

I do not remember this being taught to me in any scientific way as a child. I just remember hearing that I should comb my hair, wear (matching) clean clothes, mind my manners and always hold the door open for my mother. It seemed simple enough, and the resulting relationships with family and friends seemed to work, so I declared victory and have tried to rinse and repeat ever since.

Professionally speaking, the importance of the first impression becomes reality the first time we are asked to submit a copy of our resume. We are expected to convey a summation of our academic talent, ambition, character, work ethic and more, all on a single page. The belief is that, if our first impression—albeit on paper—distinguishes itself from others, we will ultimately get a shot at the job or internship we want. Again, rinse and repeat until retirement.

I understood the first-impression rule when I landed my first job, but I never fully appreciated the last-impression philosophy of managing your own exit until the first time I had to do it when I was 22 years old.

I was leaving the company to accept an assignment in the Peace Corps, something my boss was generally supportive of, though I am sure he questioned whether moving to Uzbekistan was more desirable than the position I had with his company. Fair enough. At the end of our conversation about my departure, he told me something I have never forgotten. He said, “No one ever remembers how you come into a job, but they always remember how you leave.”

I could have treated that as a throwaway line, but I took his words to heart and worked diligently through the end of my time there. I stayed in touch while I was abroad, resulting in a job offer with that same company upon my return to Indiana. I was impressed by the gesture and could not imagine that outcome would have been the same had I not gracefully exited all those months before.

Crafting and executing a successful exit plan is less instinctive than trying to make a strong first impression. However, I am a firm believer that, just because it is calculated does not necessarily make it insincere. I share my boss’s quote with young professionals as well as mid- and late-career friends because, if you are viewed as someone who does not care about your employer or colleagues, that will stay with you.

As hard as many of us work to try to influence the impressions we leave with people, we will never be able to fully control everything said about us—to our faces or behind our backs. That said, when given the opportunity, we should try to influence that conversation if we can.

Following the maxim, “Be nice to people on the way up because you will need them on the way down” is a great policy in the workplace. But to me, it seems like the right policy for life.•

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Rateike is founder and owner of BAR Communications and served as director of cabinet communications for President Donald Trump.

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