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Maybe it comes from growing up in a family with six siblings, but I got out of the habit of asking for Christmas gifts a little earlier than most of my friends. Birthdays were crowded, too. My September birthday comes in a week with birthdays for one of my sisters and my dad. The main birthday gift for us was choosing what we all had for dinner that particular night. I recall always choosing something that went well with ketchup.
Ketchup meals aside, here’s this year’s Christmas list:
First, I am asking that the national media coverage retire the Trump-style coverage of government. Take it easy, CNN. Fire away at the exhausting coverage of the ridiculous nature of GOP politics, but government has actually become predictably more boring again since Jan. 6. Quit trying so hard to make it seem like it hasn’t.
This isn’t just about the White House, either. The chronicling of Congress would have us believe that manufactured dramas of freshmen members like Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert actually matter. Spoiler: They don’t.
Next, while we should celebrate the passage of the bipartisan and historic infrastructure bill, I would like to ask that all of the coming road and bridge work be done somewhere else. All of the roads I use are already under construction. So, hooray that we are getting more of that. In the true spirit of Christmas, I wish others can fully enjoy my current daily plight. Giving is more important than receiving.
Third, I hope Brian Kelly’s new team at LSU loses every single game and that Cajun food gives him chronic heartburn.
Continuing on the health care section of my list, I enjoy the raised awareness of the Greek alphabet that the omicron variant of the coronavirus brings. It has been fun watching the talking heads mispronounce the letter. I admit being even more curious about what others think the source of the name might be. Omicron could easily sound like the more sinister cousin of Star Trek’s swarthy humanoids, the “Klingons.”
Under any circumstance, the omicron variant is certainly named better than the more familiar sounding delta. Many don’t know that there are 10 Greek letters between delta and omicron that did not seem to be used for variant-naming purposes. Where did these variants go? The World Health Organization chose not to use “Nu” because of the obvious confusion it might create with the English word “new.” And it also skipped “Xi,” because, even though it is pronounced differently than the common surname, avoiding the confusion and stigma it could bring was the reason Greek letters were chosen in the first place.
What is my wish? My wish is that a group named “Omicrons Anonymous” can be formed in America. The group’s purpose will be to vaccinate, in a confidential setting, all the Americans who secretly know they should get the vaccine but are too under the influence of anti-vax culture to actually do it. For some illogical reason, those who insist that getting vaccinated or boosted is a “personal choice” seem to usually choose poorly. Maybe if we made it a secret, and protected this irrational bunch’s privacy, we could actually make some headway into the spreader community.
Most addictions have some foundation in irrational thinking. I don’t see how this addiction to anti-science is any different.
Speaking of rational thinking, I know that my first four wishes are less likely to come true than any average Christmas ask. So, let me finish my small list with a wish that I believe could and should come true.
May my next president, governor, mayor—or all three—be a woman.
Merry Christmas!•
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Leppert is an author, educator and a communication consultant in Indianapolis. He writes about government, politics and culture at MichaelLeppert.com.
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