John A. Torr: Listen and try to understand other points of view

Fresh out of college, I had the opportunity to work on then-Lt. Gov. Bob Orr’s 1980 campaign for governor. On the eve of the November election, we ran into Orr’s opponent, John Hillenbrand, at the airport in Evansville. The two men had a brief, but cordial chat, shaking hands and offering well-wishes for the next day’s election.

The ads that ran that summer talked about the candidates, their experience and plans, not how bad the other guy was.

In the 43 years since, we’ve seen politics devolve to increasingly lower levels, fueled by a 24-hour news cycle on cable TV, ubiquitous social media and huge sums of money injected into the debate. The goal of some is to divide us by pushing further to the extremes. It doesn’t help that we have pundits on television and radio beating the drum purely for ratings and clicks.

Consider the divisive language we hear routinely today: They just want to kill babies, or they just want to control women’s bodies. They are only out to protect the rich, or they want to tear apart our society. Both parties say the other is trying to “destroy America,” and we must “defend our democracy” from them.

The reality is that most people fall somewhere in the middle. In our two-party system, however, the middle is a difficult path to a primary victory. With a few notable exceptions, most candidates are well-intentioned and working toward the common good. The differences are on how best to get there, and reasonable people can disagree on philosophy, debate issues and reach compromise solutions. Sometimes the best solution is one that nobody is completely happy with.

How do we solve this problem? By listening and trying to understand those whose views you oppose.

Tune out those who only talk about the other side. Chuck Schumer pointing his finger at Republicans or Kevin McCarthy accusing Democrats goes in one ear and out the other for me. Same with President Biden when he lumps all conservatives into “extreme MAGA” or Trump when he is name-calling opponents on both sides of the aisle.

I want to hear our candidates and elected officials talk about what they want to do and their plans, not how bad their opponents are.

We can all take the same approach with friends, family and co-workers in our everyday lives. Make a personal choice to listen more openly to those whose views don’t align with yours. Ask questions about why they feel that way—what life experiences or beliefs guide their thinking. When promoting your own position, stick to factual arguments and avoid questioning motives or demeaning the other side. You’ll find people are more open to hearing your view if you don’t discredit theirs.

When you turn on the news, make a point to tune in to different networks to get all sides of the debate.

We also need to hold candidates to the same standard and expect them to take the high road as well. Let them know you disapprove of negative campaigning. Write a handwritten note, send an email, make a call or post on social media. They only attack because they think it works, so if enough of us let them know it’s turning us off, maybe we can change the tone of the debate.

If we continue to accept bad behavior, we’ll continue to get more of the same, and that’s what’s going to destroy America.•

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Torr is president of Pellinore Advisors LLC.