Entrepreneurship: Tools to help you juggle work and parenting

My husband and I built our careers and family on the same timeline. Married at 24, and I became president of Element Three that same year. With one child in our 20s, two in our 30s, and another in our 40s, the strain of growing careers and expanding our family became overwhelming.

Juggling work and parenting left me constantly stressed, with an eroding relationship with my husband. Despite achieving my dreams of marriage, kids, a successful career and a home I loved, the constant challenges left me questioning why it all felt so difficult.

You might find yourself in this same place: Where you know the pace you’re running is not sustainable. That the neglect of your own health, the strain you’re putting on your marriage is becoming too much. Something you love is going to snap. You just secretly hope you can outrun it.

I started to ask myself, what would it look like to stop launching the grenades of guilt, anger and silent frustration back and forth in our home? How do we solve differently to get the things we want?

There is a unique pressure when you and your plus-one are both pursuing careers—and “just surviving” does not need to be how life feels. It’s become my obsession to figure out how to create a system for our lives that allows us to flex into the priorities of the season without pushing ourselves to an unsustainable level of output.

What if we work to simplify and systemize the daily, ordinary tasks within our homes and families so we can make time for extraordinary things? Here are a few of the tools we use in our home to allow our two-career-four-kids-lots-of-life household to live (mostly) in a state of peace and closeness.

1. Define your minimums

As high achievers, we often strive for lofty goals and set ourselves up for disappointment when we fall short. I used to be trapped in this cycle, always aiming high but rarely hitting the mark.

Then I discovered the power of setting minimums. Instead of asking myself how much I wanted to achieve, I began asking, “What’s the minimum I can commit to consistently?”

Let’s take exercise as an example. Instead of aiming for an ambitious five-days-a-week workout routine, I started with two. Why two? Because even on my busiest weeks, I knew I could manage that. And guess what? It worked.

The magic of minimums lies in their sustainability. They allow you to make steady progress without feeling overwhelmed.

2. Morning roundup, evening wind-down

This routine created a system for the most normal part of our everyday life. Too often, we allow ourselves to be controlled by the ordinary tasks, leaving little energy available for the things we want to do.

Every morning, I refill water bottles, check backpacks and make beds. After dinner every night, I wipe down the counters, spend 10 minutes picking up, a quick sweep of the floor, take out the kitchen trash and run the dishwasher. This simple routine has freed me from micro-solving every day when each of these things are going to happen. How can you make the most regular parts of running your household a system that becomes an invisible routine?

3. Weekly family meeting

If you don’t have a weekly family meeting, you’re missing out on the opportunity to get ahead of problems that are going to stand in the way of your energy going to the most important parts of your week. Who is picking up whom? What’s for dinner each evening (and who will be home)? What days can you go to the gym? Starting the week with a clear understanding of who is going where, and where your biggest priorities can be moved forward, will allow you to anticipate the energy needed for each day.

4. It’s all hard. Choose the hard that aligns with your goals.

Navigating the complexities of a two-career, four-kids household can be overwhelming, as my husband and I discovered. Using these tools was part of the choices that transformed our chaotic life into a peaceful one.

If you want a big, full, rewarding life that has an impact—you’re going to do hard things every. dang. day. Pick the hard that aligns with your goals. The hard that aligns with the outcomes you want to see in your life.•

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Sauder is CEO of Element Three, an Indianapolis-based marketing consultancy, and host of the podcast “Scared Confident.” She is also owner of Share Your Genius.