Pete the planner: I need a hobby to distract me from work

I’ve never needed a hobby so badly in my life.

It’s not that I have tons of free time that needs to be filled; instead, I need something to divert my brain’s attention when I’m not at work or spending quality time with my family. Left unaddressed, my brain triggers into fits of work spasms and nonstop work metric calculations that swing me wildly from good mood to bad, then back again. It’s exhausting. It’s unsustainable.

When I drive to work, I’m thinking about work. When I drive home from work, I’m thinking about work. When I’m driving to pick up my son from soccer practice, I’m thinking about work. When I’m brushing my teeth before I go to bed, I’m thinking about work. When I dream, I’m dreaming about work.

Here’s the wild part: I’m not unhappy, and work is going great.

My obsessive thoughts about work haven’t always been there. Over the last several years, I’ve dabbled in various hobbies, which have been the distraction I look for. For instance, during the depths of COVID times, I became obsessed with road cycling. It made for interesting tan lines, and I was as slender as this Midwestern carcass can get. Alas, I don’t have the time to commit to cycling right now. I was hooked on fishing for years (sorry), but then fishing hooked me twice, and painful trips to the ER have me reluctant to face additional trebles.

Bourbon collecting/tasting has been an interesting attempt at a hobby, but I’m also smart enough to know the imprudence of being an expert whiskey consumer.

For about 10 seconds, I entertained the idea of starting some elementary business but realized that would likely make everything worse. I love to read and listen to podcasts, but inevitably I try to apply my learnings to work. I love to write, too, but that also devolves into work-centric thoughts.

I used to coach my daughter’s soccer team with another CEO friend of mine who also needed a distraction, and it was the exact thing we both needed. Sadly, my daughter retired, and so did that welcome distraction. I don’t think about work when I’m at my son’s soccer matches (he’s too far along for me to be a coach), but leaning more into that feels like I’d be putting too much pressure on him and his interests.

I don’t want to collect stuff, and I’m not handy enough to build things out of fallen trees. There are currently two finalists for my next hobby; oddly enough, one will grow me and one will shrink me.

I love to cook and eat delicious food. I’ve perfected several dishes, and I have the desire to perfect several more. I don’t think about work at all when I cook. It’s wonderful. But it’s too wonderful. Cooking, then eating more, doesn’t seem like the healthiest hobby. And I’m certainly not looking to perfect salads.

The other candidate is not yet fully defined, but it revolves around a commitment to intense fitness. I’ve done this before, and it was quite gratifying, but I question whether I have the true interest and commitment to do it again. I’ve enjoyed running, cycling and various fitness classes. However, I would want to try something new. And I really hate the sound of pickleball. Maybe I’ll become a yogi, or at the very least buy more athleisure apparel.

There is one other element to this, which just might be the solution in the end. My smartphone is my worst enemy. It feeds my unhealthy habits, and it fills my brain with anxiety. It’s the catalyst of my work email, Slack, podcasts, news sources, social media and every other possible temptation that puts load on my brain.

The solution might just be detox. I love information so much. So much. My phone contains all the information in the world, and at the slightest whim, I can know something I didn’t know, within seconds. Then I do it again, again, and again. I quite literally did it after typing that sentence. I checked the weather for Centerville, Ohio, for this coming Friday. It will be pleasant.

Here’s the good news: I’m self-aware. I know I must find something and find it soon. I need to attack this problem with the same ferocity and focus that I attack the other challenges in my life. If you’ve ever been in this situation, and you found a solution that worked for you, by all means, share it.•

__________

Dunn is CEO of Your Money Line powered by Pete the Planner, an employee-benefit organization focused on solving employees’ financial challenges. Email your financial questions to askpete@petetheplanner.com.