Tiffany Sauder: The game-changing impact of having mentors

There was a time in my life when the question, “Who are your mentors?” made me feel anxious. I didn’t have a neat, weekly meeting with a wise older figure who knew the ins and outs of my life. That cookie-cutter version of mentorship just didn’t exist for me. Instead, my mentorship journey has been messy, unconventional and often unexpected. I guess a little like me, but it works.

If you’re navigating starting your own business or diving head first into professional growth, you might be asking yourself, “Am I doing this mentor thing wrong?” Here are a few things I’ve learned over the years.

Mentors can come from anywhere

We tend to imagine mentors as these lifelong figures who guide us through every professional and personal decision. But that’s not always the case. Some mentors come into your life for a specific season—they don’t have to be with you forever to make a lasting impact.

I’ve learned that mentorship doesn’t have to be formal or consistent. I’ve had clients who became some of my best mentors. While I was supposed to be the expert, their feedback and advice profoundly shaped how I grew as a business owner and leader. And sometimes, you’ll find mentorship in unexpected places—people who might not even know they are mentoring you.

Mentorship, at its core, is about learning from others. You don’t need a recurring calendar invite to learn from someone. You can absorb wisdom from a book, a podcast, a colleague or a coach you pay to push you further. I’ve found that sometimes the best mentors don’t even know they’re guiding you.

Be a good mentee

There is another side to this equation, too—the most eager mentors are looking for a ready environment to be helpful in. It’s easy to think of mentorship as a one-way street, but it’s a relationship like any other. The more you invest in being a thoughtful and prepared mentee, the more value you’ll get out of the mentorship. Here are a few lessons I’ve picked up over time:

1. Implement what you’re taught. Don’t keep showing up for meetings without putting advice into action.

2. Ask good questions. Come prepared with thoughtful questions and areas where you need guidance, rather than expecting the mentor to fill the space.

3. Offer value in return. It’s easy to think the mentor has nothing to gain, but showing appreciation and asking how you can help can strengthen the relationship.

Change your thinking

One of my longest-standing mentors is Brian Kavicky, someone who has shaped my life and business for over 13 years. When we started working together, I was young, trying to figure things out, and overwhelmed by the fear of failure.

But over time, he helped me see things differently. His advice has stuck with me and continues to shape how I approach both business and life.

Here are a few of the most powerful lessons:

1. If it’s all your fault, then you can fix it. This was one of the hardest lessons to swallow but also the most liberating. Taking full responsibility for everything in your life, good and bad, gives you the power to change it. When things go wrong in business, it’s easy to blame the economy, external forces or bad luck. But once you own it as your responsibility, you can start fixing it.

2. Goals are guides, not mandates. Brian always emphasized that goals steer you in the right direction, not suffocate you with rigid expectations. The purpose of a goal is to keep you on track, not to punish you if you fall short. Instead of stressing over exact outcomes, focus on making progress.

3. Your mindset determines your outcomes. Your internal dialogue shapes your reality. If you tell yourself something is impossible, it will be. By simply asking, “How could I …?” rather than saying, “I can’t,” you open up possibilities and start finding solutions.

4. Your success and dysfunction follow you. Problems in one area of life often show up in others. If you’re disorganized in your personal life, it’s likely spilling over into your professional world, and vice versa. Recognizing patterns of dysfunction allows you to fix them before they affect everything.

Find your mentor

Mentorship is about growth, and that growth can come from all kinds of places. Whether it’s a long-term relationship or a fleeting piece of advice, having people who challenge you, offer new perspectives and guide you through tough times is critical to doing hard things. Don’t worry about fitting your mentorship journey into a neat box. The most valuable guidance often comes from the least expected places.•

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Sauder is CEO of Element Three, an Indianapolis-based marketing consultancy, and host of the podcast “Scared Confident.” She is also owner of Share Your Genius.