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We begin a new year often dreaming of a fresh start and romanticizing how perfectly we will show up for ourselves, our families and our jobs in 2025.
If we’re not careful, our “planning-self” can set our “has-to-live-in-the-real-world-self” up for failure because we make plans unattached to the context, resources and imperfection of actual life.
Here are a few things I’ve learned about how to set up the achiever in me for success—as my dreams and ambitions swim alongside the imperfect world of our four-kids-two-career household.
Strategy 1: Rethink the exit strategy
A common narrative is that if you’re unhappy with your current anything (job, culture, boss, role, etc.), the solution is to leave and pursue something new. This approach can stop us from fixing the real problems.
Frustrated with your marriage? It’s easier to start over than to fix it. Annoyed with your boss? That person you hardly know seems like they’ll be a perfect fit. Hate your job? The hiring manager is promising you everything you wanted.
◗ Define the (real) problem.
What is really the problem? Is it the lack of autonomy, poor collaboration or poorly defined responsibilities? Understanding the specific concerns allows you to address them directly, whether it’s negotiating more flexible hours, seeking opportunities for collaboration, or improving your ability to speak up and ask for what you need.
For example, “I hate my job” might be more accurately articulated as, “I don’t have the decision-making ability I want at this stage in my career development.”
◗ Ask yourself, “What role am I playing in creating my current situation?”
If you don’t stop to ask this question, the problem you want to fix might follow you. Identify the changes within your control and your role in the existing environment. Propose new ideas. Define the resources you need. Advocate for yourself. Using our example above, this could be articulated as, “I’m slow to speak up in meetings, which may create uncertainty among those watching me. How can I assert myself more intentionally?”
◗ Establish your priorities, make them explicit, and share them with those invested.
When priorities aren’t defined and managed, our time goes to the most urgent and interesting thing in our purview, not those strategically and intentionally aligned to our futures. Make your goals explicit. “I want to make more money” is an implicit goal. “I want to make $15,000 more next year” is explicit. You can begin to align decisions and your focus to this goal.
Strategy 2: Small changes for lasting impact
You already know this. Big changes rarely stick. The incremental changes put us on a new path in life. New Year’s resolutions that involve grand, sweeping changes that begin on Jan. 1 set us up for failure. Consider adopting a mindset that prioritizes incremental, bite-size change that can be implemented immediately.
◗ Everyday choices shape your future.
Every day, you are digging deeper into the habits that will inform your future—waiting for a specific date to begin creates unnecessary delays. Whether setting aside time for professional development, prioritizing your health or nurturing personal relationships, each small step contributes to meaningful progress.
◗ Small, consistent changes lead to lasting results.
Small, seemingly insignificant decisions lay the groundwork for lasting change. Rather than committing to an intense fitness regimen, start with a daily walk for 10 minutes. Instead of overhauling your entire work process, implement one new productivity tool for 90 days. These minor, doable improvements give you the reward of progress and a new foundation to grow forward.
◗ Embrace the seasons of life.
Don’t forget to consider the season of life your goals need to live within. Is your spouse heading into a heavy travel season? Maybe it’s not the time to start a workout routine that requires you to be outside of the home. Is your kid starting travel soccer season? Perhaps it’s not the time to sign up to train for an ultramarathon. Not every goal can be accomplished in every season. Every yes to something in your life and family is a no to something else.
The secret to a full life of continued progress is to embrace and work with it, not against it.•
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Sauder is CEO of Element Three, an Indianapolis-based marketing consultancy, and host of the podcast “Scared Confident.” She is also owner of Share Your Genius.
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